Conversation Corner

A few days ago, i was clearing out my laptop out of things i didn't need or want to see anymore. I realized how much of it i barely see now.

Most of you don't know that i write a lot. Maybe i don't blog as much but i do write. Every time i can't sleep or if something pops out onto my mind, i write it down or type it down. Basically, i'm saying i had to delete a lot of memories in the process of cleaning out my laptop. Things like letters and emotions gone with a simple delete.

I did though, come across a conversation i saved. It was between me and a friend. This friend of mine were really close but that was way back when. Now, we're barely acquainted. Even when we meet, it's like we have never even met before. I mean i'm pretty sure he isn't even reading this but i think even is he is, he wouldn't know it's about him. Scary. That's how far apart we are now.

Well, Friend, i just want to say coming across the conversation honestly brought tears to my eyes. I had a rush of emotions and it came all of a sudden. It hurts me to know and to have to force myself to accept the fact you are no longer there for me anymore. Don't get me wrong, neither am i but i do want to be. You were a sweet boy, loyal, honest, loving and very much loved by me and everyone around you but you had to follow the wrong roads and now, i can barely have a conversation with you without you having to go back to your drugs. Even if we talk, it's about your drugs. I'm not saying i hate you for doing that but i do hate you for leaving. Things couldn't have stayed the same i know and i get it but you could at least remember a thing or two about what we had.

These kind of discoveries bring me to tears and frankly, i have to admit while biting my lips, deep down in this very annoyed and broken heart that i actually do kinda sorta miss you :/

Remember when i hugged you so tight when she left you cause that's all you needed and when you wrote that short letter in his iPod and we read it together and changed it? When nobody was there for you and they were there for her, i was there for you, making sure you were at your best. I hugged you as you cried and i told you everything was going to be alright? I miss you. Just try and remember to miss me once in awhile kay? I'm not asking for more.

Until the next time,

LOVES!